When I Win the Lottery

Someday I will be rich. Filthy rich with enough money to buy small countries or one medium-sized country, preferably with an ocean view and plenty of closets.

When that day happens, I will take myself to Bauman Rare Books in Philadelphia (with a branch now open in Las Vegas at The Palazzo). Take a look through the April catalog; it’s a 5MB download on the site. Pick out your wish list.

Me? I’m picking up a Rackham-illustrated and -signed copy of A Midsummer Night’s Dream for a mere $6,000. And a first edition of The Lord of the Rings ($48,000) and a first of The Wonderful Wizard of Oz ($16,000). There’s a signed first edition of The Grapes of Wrath ($32,000) and a first of The Cat in the Hat ($14,000), that I may have owned at some point and then carelessly let mildew in the basement. The piece de resistance of the dripping-with-money-and-forgetting-my-friends shopping spree will be the 1691 second quatro of Julius Caesar for a piddling $40,000.

You may all come view my collection, housed, of course, in a sterile, humidity-controlled environment. Providing you promise to wear white cotton gloves naturally.

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