The Curse of the Floating Hand

The title of this post may sound like a Nancy Drew book (or more likely a title from Alfred Hitchcock’s The Three Investigators), but it is not. It is a very real problem that potentially affects countless human beings.

Do you suffer from Floating Hand Syndrome?

Take this quiz to find out. Don’t suffer in ignorance.

  • While stirring something on the stove with one hand, do you find your other hand remains suspended in midair, doing nothing?
  • When reaching for an object on your desk, does one hand silently hover and watch the other hand pick up the object?
  • You turn the bathroom faucet using your right hand. Does your left hand display its readiness to act as a backup by rising from your side?
  • Ladies, while applying mascara with one hand, does your other hand appear ready to conduct a symphony? Gentlemen, while scratching yourself with one hand, does your other hand make aimless circles in the air?
  • You close your front door behind you when leaving the house. One hand holds the doorknob. Do you tell yourself your other hand is only stretched out to determine wind direction?

If you answered yes to two or more of these questions, you may be a victim of Floating Hand Syndrome.

Sadly, as of today, no support group exists to fund research into this perplexing mystery of the human body. Perhaps awareness is the first step to solving what may be a global crisis of unprecedented proportions.

Or maybe I am the sole casualty of not only Floating Hand Syndrome but also of People Always Laugh at Tammy Disorder.

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