When You Just Don’t Care About Yourself

Sometimes in the morning you may not like yourself that much. You may consider breakfast options of cereal but you’ve hit the snooze button too many times. You may consider yogurt, but how appetizing is that after a 90-minute commute. Breakfast bars, fruit, strange breakfast drinks – all are valid choices for the commuter, but just not what you’re looking for.*

Then you get a press release that sticks in your head and you find yourself at Dunkin Donuts, cramming 340 calories into your mouth.

But you justify it because you sometimes feel nauseous if you drink tea without food (stupid tannins) and because you can write a review of the donut and put it on a blog!

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you: the Undercover Black Cocoa Donut.

Because the galaxy runs on Dunkin'Dunkin’ describes the donut as “a star shaped yeast donut filled with brownie batter butter creme and topped with chocolate icing and star sprinkles.”

What this actually means is you have your standard chocolate frosted donut but without the hole or your standard boston creme donut but without the boston creme. The brownie batter butter creme (and, seriously, that’s what made me buy this thing) is so-so. It’s got a faint brownie taste but tastes more like the filling of a Pop-Tart than actual brownie batter (and I would know**).

Whoever baked this morning’s donut went overboard on the star sprinkles. Thanks to the donut’s contours, it actually looks like the sprinkles are being pulled into the filling opening. The sprinkles are hard and crunchy. With only a few sprinkles, this wouldn’t be an issue. With the milky way of stars I received, it was a bit much.

Bottom line: if you like the chocolate frosted donut, you won’t mind the Undercover Black Cocoa Donut. Just watch out for the stars.

*Despite how this post sounds, I’m not a breakfast person. I love going out to eat breakfast now and then, especially if I’m not in my own town. But for the most part, my morning sustenance is a cup or two of tea. Go back

**Brownie batter tastes awesome. It can, in fact, taste so awesome that you and your sister decide to mix up a box of brownie batter when your parents aren’t home just so you can eat the raw batter with no intention of baking the brownies. It can, in fact, taste so awesome that you and your sister have only a few spoonfuls of the batter before deciding you don’t want anymore but need to dispose of the evidence in the back yard. It cannot, in fact, taste so awesome that your parents don’t discover the batter or the box and question you about your afternoon activities. True story. Go back again.


3 thoughts on “When You Just Don’t Care About Yourself

  1. I found this blog post while looking for an image of Dunky Donuts’ “new” Valentines brownie batter donut. I got one yesterday and didn’t like it; I agree, the filling is not brownie batter. But now I feel like a tool because when that MIB donut came out, I tried it as well, and didn’t like it. I should have realized it was the same thing but heart-shaped this time. I’m sure come 4th of July I’ll be trying some red and blue donut filled with “brownie batter” and again be disappointed.

    I need help.

  2. I feel like you are me and I am you. I share the very same story of brownie batter consumption, besides the fact that my accomplice was my brother and we did not dispose of the leftover batter. It’s too valuable to just be tossed in the backyard along with other brown matter (matter not batter).

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