Dear Au Bon Pain

Dear Au Bon Pain,

Congratulations on the drink you made for me this morning. I’ve never tasted anything like it before.

Granted, this was my first time (blush) ordering chai tea from your fine establishment so I didn’t know what to expect. I assumed (I know, I know, ass, you, me) it would be similar to chai I’ve received at numerous other establishments.

But you, Au — can I call you “Au?” — managed to take me by surprise. The chai I received was the foulest, most disgusting beverage known to man.

I can only surmise that you made a chai and then an espresso-based beverage and combined them in one cup for my drinking pleasure. The result, Au, was something that would cause both tea lovers and coffee lovers to run screaming into dark alleys begging for someone to end it all.

Oh, Au. What were you thinking? Was it some bizarre mistake you made or is this really what you thought I wanted? I won’t be willing to risk that mistake again, Au. My taste buds would never forgive me.

Sure, I could have taken the elevator down 18 floors, walked down a flight of stairs and across the station concourse to make sure the cup of bile wasn’t a secret cry for help. But I’m lazy, Au; we both know that. Otherwise, I’d be making my own chai at home and drinking it out of some spiffy thermos on the train.

You leave me no choice, Au, but to bid you a fond au revoir, although I doubt we’ll be seeing each other again. I wish you nothing but the best.

The girl who’s fighting the urge to vomit thanks to you


5 thoughts on “Dear Au Bon Pain

    1. Possibly. Along with some raw sewage, the decaying corpse of an emu and several things they reached through a wormhole to get – things that should never be in our universe. *shudder*

  1. Chai tea can either be wonderful or as you say…foul, depending on where you get it. Here’s hoping your next one is far superior to this. Better yet, maybe make it yourself, so you’ll have no surprise. Hate it when I look forward to something and it falls short.

  2. WOW! Need to get me to make you a chai, lol. If your chai had espresso, they most likely made you a “dirty chai.” Never was a fan of Au bon Pain.

    1. It didn’t taste enough like chai to make me think they just dumped a shot of espresso in it. And it didn’t taste enough like coffee to make me think they just dumped a couple shots of chai concentrate or ounces of chai tea in it. It was a unique taste that may not have existed on the planet before this morning.

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