Gift-shopping for Me: A How-to Guide

The holiday season is coming up. For me, this starts with my birthday at the beginning of November and continues through Christmas. Some of you may be wondering what to get me to show your appreciation of our friendship and/or the wittiness of this blog.

Besides, gift-givers may not be the first people I trip in a zombie apocalypse.

Your goal as a gift giver should be to elicit the official look of birthday wonder worn when receiving a great gift. I’ve sprinkled examples through this post so you can compare my reaction to your gift with the ideal. Let the hover text be your guide.

On to the tips …

Tip 1: I don’t need the perfect gift.

Tip 2: If you know me, you should know me. By that I mean you should already know what I like, what I don’t like and may have identified needs of which I may not even be aware. A gift that meets that unknown need or want would be ideal.

Tip 2a: Unless that gift is a year’s supply of breath mints because you’re pretty sure I don’t know my breath stinks. That wouldn’t be funny.

Tip 3: If you stumble across a wish list I’ve made on a web site, ignore it. I make those to tell me what to get other people or as a reminder for me to look into something. They’re not really wish lists.

Tip 4: Practical gifts are all well and good – I even asked for one this year – but pair it with something fun. No one wants brightly colored packages of socks or sheet sets under the tree. See tip 2a.

Tip 5: You’ve never seen me wear pink. Don’t buy me pink. Or neon shades of anything. All other colors are on the table.

Tip 6: Gift cards may be impersonal, but they’re a good alternative to a weed whacker. This is especially true if those gift cards are for places like Amazon or a restaurant. If you’re lucky, you may be invited to the restaurant when I use your gift card.

Tip 7: Actually, take me out to a restaurant or a movie followed by a discussion of said movie over pie. Mmm, pie. I don’t need to unwrap something – take me somewhere fun: food, movie, museum, plays, ziplining. Spending an afternoon with you may mean more than a gift card.

Tip 7a: Don’t take me somewhere if we’re only pretend friends. That would just be awkward and uncomfortable for all concerned.

Tip 8: You really never can go wrong with jewelry or cashmere – but include a gift receipt just in case.


5 thoughts on “Gift-shopping for Me: A How-to Guide

  1. […] I’m human so I also like getting Christmas presents. Some years I resist the idea of a Christmas List. I may drop a few hints or answer direct questions, but I tend to resist giving specifics. Maybe I think it makes me look greedy. Maybe I don’t want to limit your gift-giving potential. […]

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