Lessons from 2012

The world didn’t end. Bonus. Because I’m pretty happy about life and would have been sad to see the world consumed by plague/fire/ice/whatever. Plus it means the Small Pond tradition of looking back over the year continues!

The crowd goes wild. Let the listing and reflecting begin!

English: Dockers supporters cheering

It is possible (although not desirable) for humans to vomit through their nose. Yes, this was a sad, sad lesson to learn. Made even more tragic by the fact that I was on a business trip with nowhere to go to sob quietly until I fell asleep. Hey, I didn’t say 2012 lessons were all full of light and wonder. Sometimes you learn facts about the human body that you didn’t want to know, either in the abstract or in brutal reality. Be thankful I didn’t try to find a picture for this life lesson.

English: A calendar showing the leap year day....

2012 was a bisextile year. That’s a fancy way of saying it was a leap year. And under the old Julian calendar, this sounds really freaking confusing:

For legal purposes, the two days of the bis sextum were considered to be a single day, with the second half being intercalated, but common practice by 238, when Censorinus wrote, was that the intercalary day was followed by the last five days of February, a. d. VI, V, IV, III and pridie Kal. Mar. (which would be those days numbered 24, 25, 26, 27, and 28 from the beginning of February in a common year), i.e. the intercalated day was the first half of the doubled day.

Whatever. The word “biextile” made me laugh. Because I’m 12.

aerodynamic simulations (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Liquids and fluids are not the same. A liquid is a fluid, but a fluid doesn’t have to be a liquid. I think I picked this gem up while reading an article about turbulence, which involved the fluidity of air. At the time, it seemed like a groundbreaking piece of knowledge for me, until I remembered that I don’t really work in a field that allows me to apply this knowledge in any meaningful sense. If I did work in such a field, I probably would have known this before 2012. Now, it’s just another piece of trivial flotsam in my head.

Figs and dates taste gross. I knew this immediately upon tasting them. It’s that taste that makes your lip curl and your tongue start to do acrobatics as they strongly consider ejecting the food from your mouth before your taste buds openly revolt. I managed to swallow each of them but I’m not sure if my taste buds have forgiven me yet.

English: The test subject, a rhesus monkey named Sam, is seen encased in a model of the Mercury fiberglass contour couch. He will be flown on the Little Joe 2 as a test subject. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

A monkey’s brain stem will separate from its spinal column when the monkey is spun at 140 rpm. See, I learned all kinds of fun things this year. This probably came up when I was reading The Right Stuff or something else about space exploration and the trials monkeys went through to condition them for the flight. I don’t have much else to say about this. It sort of speaks for itself. Don’t spin monkeys, people. It’s a bad idea.

Wood Pussy. It’s facts like this that keep me coming back to play Quizzo on the occasional Wednesday … because, as I mentioned earlier, I’m 12. And wood pussy sounds funny. By the way, a wood pussy is the name for a mammal in the Mustelidae family that can eject a malodorous liquid (think skunk).

Fortune does indeed favor the bold. And it’s perfectly okay and should be encouraged to fly across the country to ask important questions. After all, the answers may just change your life. So, I’ll leave you all with this last, most important lesson I learned this year. Be brave. The worst thing that can happen is that you’ll be embarrassed.  And isn’t risking embarrassment worth shooting for the best outcome, the one where your best friend and you are in love?

Yeah, 2012 was pretty awesome.

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3 thoughts on “Lessons from 2012

  1. My observations to your 2012 year in review…i once laughed so hard part of a tuna sandwich came through my nose. Bisextile made me laugh also, I’m 50 but i am also a man so pretty much anything sounding remotely sophmoric (along with fart jokes/references) makes me laugh. Liquids and fluids….Hmm. I like figs…dates (the fruit) are gross…I’ve also been on some dates that were gross. As for the monkey…you have laid down the gauntlet for me to find a monkey and spin him at 141RPM…if i spin him in reverse it will it reconnect? Wood pussy…sounds like a 17th centruy sex toy that left splinters. As for your fortune and being bold…bravo. I could never have done it.

    1. I don’t know if spinning the monkey in reverse would reattach the spinal column or not. You may have to switch from an horizontal spin to a vertical one – end over end – and even then, it’s not a guarantee.

      Wood pussy as a sex toy. Nice.

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